"There's a difference between murder and drinking Kool-Aid."
~ Mom
January 31, 2010
January 29, 2010
Quote of the Day
"Obviously you have not heard of the yellow-nosed coma pigeon. They do in fact sleep a million hours a day."
~ Taylor
~ Taylor
January 25, 2010
computer troubles
It's not the first time I've had problems with my laptop...the hard drive said farewell to this world six months after I received it as the best graduation gift ever (slightly biased statement). In hindsight it may be because one of my particularly stupid acquaintances threw it from the front seat of the car into the back seat...luckily it was still under warranty, and I only realized that the incident occurred post-stupid-acquaintance-duress AFTER it had been repaired (for free). Alas, the repair included none of the precious, precious files that had been lost with the crash...not too much of a disaster, considering that I'd only just graduated from high school. Most of my angsty writing/memories/chat logs were still on the family desktop. Not all...but most.
Now I'm in trouble again...after freezing up this morning, the computer was shut down and restarted only to display a very primitive "Enter Password" box. And it responds to none of my, y'know, actual passwords. After Google investigations it appears it's a common bug. There's a download from the manufacturers that prevents it, but apparently the download doesn't work AFTER the issue has locked down your computer, and can only be fixed by taking it into a repair center. (Anyone curious as to the exact technical nature should feel free to Google "Toshiba password." That should tell you all you need to know....)
In the meantime I'm stuck on the persnickety Emachines PC, and while it's been fun trawling through old icons & homework assignments I've saved on here, I'm bored already. The only IM program installed is an old version of MSN Messenger. Attempts to log onto Meebo result in the computer freaking out. It's dial up Internet only, but I'm used to that while I'm at home, obviously... Unfortunately the only browser on the computer is an old (how old? not sure) version of IE (the horror, the horror!) I'm attempting to download IE 8, so I'll at least have an up-to-date piece of crap browser...estimated time of download? Four and a half hours. Kill me now.
iTunes isn't installed on this computer, because, as I said, it's persnickety. It's died a few times in the three years since I stopped using it thanks to The Blessed Graduation Laptop. Pretty much all of the files were recovered thanks to my dad's computer wizardy (it's more like mail order computer magic, Bedknobs and Broomsticks style, really), but apparently not all of the programs. Hence, no iTunes. And I'm not planning on adding that to my list of Things to Download (includes IE 8 and possibly Trillian, if I'm ambitious) - the first time I downloaded iTunes for this computer, I had to leave the Internet running all night. No me gusta.
Now I'm in trouble again...after freezing up this morning, the computer was shut down and restarted only to display a very primitive "Enter Password" box. And it responds to none of my, y'know, actual passwords. After Google investigations it appears it's a common bug. There's a download from the manufacturers that prevents it, but apparently the download doesn't work AFTER the issue has locked down your computer, and can only be fixed by taking it into a repair center. (Anyone curious as to the exact technical nature should feel free to Google "Toshiba password." That should tell you all you need to know....)
In the meantime I'm stuck on the persnickety Emachines PC, and while it's been fun trawling through old icons & homework assignments I've saved on here, I'm bored already. The only IM program installed is an old version of MSN Messenger. Attempts to log onto Meebo result in the computer freaking out. It's dial up Internet only, but I'm used to that while I'm at home, obviously... Unfortunately the only browser on the computer is an old (how old? not sure) version of IE (the horror, the horror!) I'm attempting to download IE 8, so I'll at least have an up-to-date piece of crap browser...estimated time of download? Four and a half hours. Kill me now.
iTunes isn't installed on this computer, because, as I said, it's persnickety. It's died a few times in the three years since I stopped using it thanks to The Blessed Graduation Laptop. Pretty much all of the files were recovered thanks to my dad's computer wizardy (it's more like mail order computer magic, Bedknobs and Broomsticks style, really), but apparently not all of the programs. Hence, no iTunes. And I'm not planning on adding that to my list of Things to Download (includes IE 8 and possibly Trillian, if I'm ambitious) - the first time I downloaded iTunes for this computer, I had to leave the Internet running all night. No me gusta.
January 24, 2010
January 23, 2010
Quote of the Day
"[My publisher] told me it was okay for me to post a few panels from the book I'm drawing, to show the world what has been occupying my time since January ... and by "occupying" I mean, I went outdoors today and screamed "what the hell is that???" at the ball of fire in the sky. Oh right, it's called the sun."
~ Faith
~ Faith
January 19, 2010
Quote of the Day
"Isn't it great that we live in a country where a cigar-smoking dog puppet and a bear that masturbates are considered intellectual property?"
~ Conan O'Brien
~ Conan O'Brien
January 18, 2010
24 and homophobes and bisexual angst, oh my!
So I watched like four episodes of the first season of 24 this morning. I think I'm hooked (damn). Luckily my dad has like three seasons on DVD, so I'll be well stocked for a while.
In one of the episodes, two female assassins/terrorists make out. For like...30 seconds. If that. And they were the BAD guys. My parents still acted all like "UM." and my mom made noises about how I should turn it off. It's like that Life episode that my parents refused to watch because the family they were investigating was a gay couple.
Anyway, Cameron came downstairs during that part, and was like "OMG, WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?" Then the scene ended and he wandered off, distracted. Later he told Spencer about how he came downstairs this morning and "almost puked" because of the girls on TV.
I'm out to everyone I know about being bisexual...except my family. And even then, Spencer knows. Ostensibly. That doesn't prevent him from making snarky comments in front of me about how gay people are no better than pedophiles, and "it's basically the same thing."
I really worry that I'm going to fall in love with some girl and then have to bring her home to these assholes. My plan is to most definitely NOT come out as long as I'm living at home/financially dependent on my family, just because I'm afraid of how they'd react. Although I wish they knew...every time they made some damn stupid comment about 'the homosexuals.'
In one of the episodes, two female assassins/terrorists make out. For like...30 seconds. If that. And they were the BAD guys. My parents still acted all like "UM." and my mom made noises about how I should turn it off. It's like that Life episode that my parents refused to watch because the family they were investigating was a gay couple.
Anyway, Cameron came downstairs during that part, and was like "OMG, WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?" Then the scene ended and he wandered off, distracted. Later he told Spencer about how he came downstairs this morning and "almost puked" because of the girls on TV.
I'm out to everyone I know about being bisexual...except my family. And even then, Spencer knows. Ostensibly. That doesn't prevent him from making snarky comments in front of me about how gay people are no better than pedophiles, and "it's basically the same thing."
I really worry that I'm going to fall in love with some girl and then have to bring her home to these assholes. My plan is to most definitely NOT come out as long as I'm living at home/financially dependent on my family, just because I'm afraid of how they'd react. Although I wish they knew...every time they made some damn stupid comment about 'the homosexuals.'
goddammit jack bauer...
Thanks to my father owning the first three seasons of 24, I've decided to ahead and watch the first season - possibly more - to at least get a sense of context. The damn thing started in 2001! I really hope I don't get hooked beyond all reason, I don't have the hard drive space OR money to download or buy more seasons. Then again, I'm pretty fond of Bones and haven't felt driven to such craziness. Despite Emily Deschanel's geeky hawtness...dude, I just looked up her Wiki page and I think we own the same shirt! Weird weird weird. Cough.
regarding 24...
I made a mistake and watched the 2-hour season premier of 24 tonight. I enjoyed it, and, well, dammit, I don't have time in my life to follow yet another TV show! There I a reason I've avoided getting tangled up in Heroes, DESPITE Zachary Quinton's Sylar-y hawtness!
Grrrr.
Grrrr.
January 16, 2010
why i hate that song
'Cause it's nine in the afternoon
and i lie beside him, staring into
his eyes as only the very newly in love do
as if they have never seen the other before
And your eyes are the size of the moon
as i search his face, not just his eyes
sketching it in my head, trying to memorize
every damn line
You could, 'cause you can, so you do
because good friends could be
even better boyfriends, because he
is a surprisingly good kisser for a geek.
Feeling so good, just the way that we do,
as usual our friendship has a certain spark
but unusually this time as we lay in the dark
we acknowledge it's lovers we should be instead
When it's nine in the afternoon
and it never will be this time again, we will never
be in this comfortable way beside each other again, whatever
i do, but unaware of our future i smile as he holds me
and i lie beside him, staring into
his eyes as only the very newly in love do
as if they have never seen the other before
And your eyes are the size of the moon
as i search his face, not just his eyes
sketching it in my head, trying to memorize
every damn line
You could, 'cause you can, so you do
because good friends could be
even better boyfriends, because he
is a surprisingly good kisser for a geek.
Feeling so good, just the way that we do,
as usual our friendship has a certain spark
but unusually this time as we lay in the dark
we acknowledge it's lovers we should be instead
When it's nine in the afternoon
and it never will be this time again, we will never
be in this comfortable way beside each other again, whatever
i do, but unaware of our future i smile as he holds me
January 14, 2010
PETTY
I realize this is a really geeky thing to get pissed about, but it really bothers me when webcomic authors, especially, go to great lengths to advertise WHEN their site updates - "UPDATES ON WEDNESDAY" in big font - and then Wednesday comes and goes and, not a word. No new page, no note from the author about how real life intervened...NOTHING. Actually this one particular webbie perplexes me to no end because the guy posts new voting incentives with clockworklike regularity...and I'm like, really? Voting incentives are great and all, but it seems stupid to expect us to vote for you when you can't even keep to your own rules.
Also, finally got around to downloading "The Fame Monster" by Lady GaGa. 'Alejandro' is pretty much my favorite song, although I also had 'Telephone' stuck in my head for hour upon hour yesterday.
Finally...I wrote this post all out, then hit 'publish post' - AND IT WENT TO A 404 PAGE. It was like, 'did you mean *insert page here*. FUCKING....Chrome, Blogger, *I* did not mean anything. *You* sent me to this page. FIX YOURSELF.
Also, finally got around to downloading "The Fame Monster" by Lady GaGa. 'Alejandro' is pretty much my favorite song, although I also had 'Telephone' stuck in my head for hour upon hour yesterday.
Finally...I wrote this post all out, then hit 'publish post' - AND IT WENT TO A 404 PAGE. It was like, 'did you mean *insert page here*. FUCKING....Chrome, Blogger, *I* did not mean anything. *You* sent me to this page. FIX YOURSELF.
January 11, 2010
self image
Just having one of those days where I look at myself in the mirror and am like, "Ew." Just don't like how I look.
This, too, shall pass...
This, too, shall pass...
I'M A PERSON
I hate how Blogger makes me enter a Captcha to post a comment, even though I have a Gmail account AND a blog that I update (semi) regularly. Pff.
January 10, 2010
just to say
I would like to note that it took me 3 tries and over fifteen minutes to get the last entry to post correctly.
Fucking Blogger.
For My Lover, Returning to His Wife
by Anne Sexton
She is all there.
She was melted carefully down for you
and cast up from your childhood,
cast up from your one hundred favorite aggies.
She has always been there, my darling.
She is, in fact, exquisite.
Fireworks in the dull middle of February
and as real as a cast-iron pot.
Let's face it, I have been momentary.
A luxury. A bright red sloop in the harbor.
My hair rising like smoke from the car window.
Littleneck clams out of season.
She is more than that. She is your have to have,
has grown you your practical your tropical growth.
This is not an experiment. She is all harmony.
She sees to oars and oarlocks for the dinghy,
has placed wild flowers at the window at breakfast,
sat by the potter's wheel at midday,
set forth three children under the moon,
three cherubs drawn by Michelangelo,
done this with her legs spread out
in the terrible months in the chapel.
If you glance up, the children are there
like delicate balloons resting on the ceiling.
She has also carried each one down the hall
after supper, their heads privately bent,
two legs protesting, person to person,
her face flushed with a song and their little sleep.
I give you back your heart.
I give you permission --
for the fuse inside her, throbbing
angrily in the dirt, for the bitch in her
and the burying of her wound --
for the burying of her small red wound alive --
for the pale flickering flare under her ribs,
for the drunken sailor who waits in her left pulse,
for the mother's knee, for the stocking,
for the garter belt, for the call --
the curious call
when you will burrow in arms and breasts
and tug at the orange ribbon in her hair
and answer the call, the curious call.
She is so naked and singular
She is the sum of yourself and your dream.
Climb her like a monument, step after step.
She is solid.
As for me, I am a watercolor.
I wash off.
She is all there.
She was melted carefully down for you
and cast up from your childhood,
cast up from your one hundred favorite aggies.
She has always been there, my darling.
She is, in fact, exquisite.
Fireworks in the dull middle of February
and as real as a cast-iron pot.
Let's face it, I have been momentary.
A luxury. A bright red sloop in the harbor.
My hair rising like smoke from the car window.
Littleneck clams out of season.
She is more than that. She is your have to have,
has grown you your practical your tropical growth.
This is not an experiment. She is all harmony.
She sees to oars and oarlocks for the dinghy,
has placed wild flowers at the window at breakfast,
sat by the potter's wheel at midday,
set forth three children under the moon,
three cherubs drawn by Michelangelo,
done this with her legs spread out
in the terrible months in the chapel.
If you glance up, the children are there
like delicate balloons resting on the ceiling.
She has also carried each one down the hall
after supper, their heads privately bent,
two legs protesting, person to person,
her face flushed with a song and their little sleep.
I give you back your heart.
I give you permission --
for the fuse inside her, throbbing
angrily in the dirt, for the bitch in her
and the burying of her wound --
for the burying of her small red wound alive --
for the pale flickering flare under her ribs,
for the drunken sailor who waits in her left pulse,
for the mother's knee, for the stocking,
for the garter belt, for the call --
the curious call
when you will burrow in arms and breasts
and tug at the orange ribbon in her hair
and answer the call, the curious call.
She is so naked and singular
She is the sum of yourself and your dream.
Climb her like a monument, step after step.
She is solid.
As for me, I am a watercolor.
I wash off.
January 9, 2010
yowza
So...apparently this whole 'semi-naked women serving drive-through coffee' thing is catching on. I knew they were prosecuting a woman in Yakima for working while just wearing like pasties and a g-string, but I guess it's a problem in the Seattle area too! The Stranger reports - http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archives/2010/01/08/your-tax-dollars-hard-at-nsfw (so, so, so NSFW).
In other news, I sent my resume to like three places the other day, forgetting that I'd saved it after writing an address down on the top line. I am such an *idiot.* Go me.
In other news, I sent my resume to like three places the other day, forgetting that I'd saved it after writing an address down on the top line. I am such an *idiot.* Go me.
January 7, 2010
grrr
So...you know if you use Blogger that there'll be a thing on your home page/Dashboard that says Blogs I'm Following. It's called like the reading list, and gives you a list of links to new posts from the blogs you're following, so you can keep up with all of them at once. Kind of like Livejournal's Friends page.
All well and good, BUT, according to *my* reading list, no one I'm following has updated in two days. WHICH ISN'T TRUE.
Guh. Fucking Blogger...
All well and good, BUT, according to *my* reading list, no one I'm following has updated in two days. WHICH ISN'T TRUE.
Guh. Fucking Blogger...
January 5, 2010
this is just wrong
Discussing sex euphemisms with Taylor & he pulls this one out: "Putting your Willy Wonka in the chocolate factory." HOW AWFUL IS THAT?!
January 2, 2010
Quote of the Day
Villain on tv: "I'm gonna tear this guy a new hole!"
Cameron: "Did he say he was gonna turn that guy into a hole?"
Cameron: "Did he say he was gonna turn that guy into a hole?"
happy anniversary to meeeeee
So I've been on Blogger for a year! Go me!
Since last January, I have:
- Transferred back to Whitworth University from Spokane Community College
- Come out as bisexual
- Broken up with two different boys (one after a two year relationship, one after a, um, very intense week and a half relationship).
- Lost my first job, which I maintained for three and a half years.
- Remained unemployed since January 9th, 2009.
- Been diagnosed as bipolar.
- Hit a very nice Mustang Convertible while trying to park & had to pay out the ass for the repair of a three inch long scratch.
- Gotten new glasses (seems stupid, but I'd had the replaced ones since the summer of 2007...)
- Smoked my first cigarette.
- Dropped out of college entirely.
Probably more stuff that I'm forgetting, but that's a pretty complete list as things go. Happy New Year, and may 2010 rock everyone's collective socks.
Since last January, I have:
- Transferred back to Whitworth University from Spokane Community College
- Come out as bisexual
- Broken up with two different boys (one after a two year relationship, one after a, um, very intense week and a half relationship).
- Lost my first job, which I maintained for three and a half years.
- Remained unemployed since January 9th, 2009.
- Been diagnosed as bipolar.
- Hit a very nice Mustang Convertible while trying to park & had to pay out the ass for the repair of a three inch long scratch.
- Gotten new glasses (seems stupid, but I'd had the replaced ones since the summer of 2007...)
- Smoked my first cigarette.
- Dropped out of college entirely.
Probably more stuff that I'm forgetting, but that's a pretty complete list as things go. Happy New Year, and may 2010 rock everyone's collective socks.
January 1, 2010
Quote of the Day
"I was terribly sorry to be the one to explain to the first graders the connection between the sunset and pollution."
~ "Fragments for the End of the Year," by Jennifer K. Sweeney
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