Quote of the Day

Gabrielle: "What I think of you? I think you are a very amusing, repressed young man who needs to get drunk more."

Cole: "I'm not amusing! ...I mean, repressed...Wow."

Quote of the Day

"My parakeet is apparently trying to evolve into a squeak toy...at least that's what it sounds like from the noises he's making."
~ Katie

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned: I refused to be silent about the institutional rape of children."

Melissa McEwan of Shakesville weighs in on Pope Benedict's horrific attempt at damage control.

list of things currently on my laptop desk

- The Line Between by Peter Beagle
- Conversations with Sherman Alexie
- Box of Kleenex
- chunky blue & silver bracelet
- chunky black bracelet with white orbs
- rainbow earrings with chains
- metallic starry earrings
- beaded turquoise and brown earrings
- cell phone
- disembodied extra box cutter blade
- glasses
- The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings Extended Edition DVDs
- The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Extended Edition DVDs

things currently NOT on my laptop desk:
- my laptop

haha, oops - yay dar!

This is a funny/useful strip of DAR! that I would normally have no issues at all with, but this guy totally wandered into the room, walked behind me, and was like HEY, IS THAT A WEBCOMIC? and I was horribly embarrassed. Um. Ha. ^.^;

i typed out this whole other entry

and then decided to rework it, because as written it's a bit *too* personal/TMI for a public blog. I'll save it for LJ, I guess.

The point is - well, apparently I haven't mentioned this before, but I'm bipolar. What disorder specifically I'm not sure, but it's definitely something manic-depression-esque. I'm not getting treatment right now, or on meds of any sort, but now that I'm aware I have it, I can keep a closer tab on my emotional states and try to avoid triggering behavior/habits.

The reason I'm not in treatment is because a) it's expensive, I'm on my parent's insurance, and they're not really supportive/understanding of the whole 'mental illness' thing, and b) now that I'm not in school anymore, I'm NOT technically on their insurance. Once you're past 18 and no longer a student AND still a dependent, well, no more automatic-albeit-not-free healthcare anymore, I guess. Something like that. Can't be fucked to get it right at the moment.

In any case, the particular emotional state I'm dealing with right now isn't mania, it's depression. I usually deal with one or the other around this time of year particularly, March to June. I don't mean I'm not dealing with mania at all, just that the predominating emotion is depression. Among other things, I'm having to deal with a tendency to cut as a way of self-medicating for depression, which is a unnerving because it's something I haven't felt tempted to do since I was 18, my senior year of high school. I thought I was over it. Guess not.

browser exp. ii

After two days of playing with Safari, I have returned to my One True Browser Love - Google Chrome.

The deal-breaking fly in the Safari ointment...not only can I not right click on bookmarks that AREN'T in the Bookmarks Bar to delete/rename them, I also can't drag them so as to alphabetize them correctly.

I am convinced that my obsession with alphabetizing things, both on my computer and not (books in my room, CD cases, DVDs, etc) is the fault of the library I worked at for 3 years. Alphabetizing things for a paycheck gave it happy associations for me, or something. Don't know. But it's definitely a priority. Sorry, Safari.

browser experimentation

Google Chrome, for the most part, has my undying loyalty (especially now that I've discovered that Chrome does INDEED have an AdBlock app), but sometimes I feel drawn to experiment. I've been having some issues with Chrome browsing Facebook lately, and decided to see if Safari would hold up any better. The answer is yes, as it turns out.

It's not a long-term solution, though (and in any case I suspect the Facebook/Chrome issue is because Facebook is going through a transitory period in its coding), because Safari doesn't run so well on the usual Internet I have to deal with at home - dial-up. Chrome runs well, no matter what crappy Internet I'm using.

I'm trying really hard to like Safari as a browser to use on faster Internet, but, Safari, you're makin' it hard for me. I keep having weird, tiny issues, like the whole thing freezing up for twenty seconds or so when I'm entering information to log in to various accounts, especially passwords.

I'm probably going to search for new updates (that I can't/don't usually bother to install because of dial-up) and see if that makes a difference, but I'm not optimistic.

in a state

what kind of state, you say?

not a state like...washington.

a state of LUST.

unashamed, abject LUST, i say.

it's because of this

Quote of the Day

Stranger: "Hi."
You: "hello"
Stranger: "What're you up to?"
You: "not much, just reading the archives of this new webcomic i discovered *geek*"
You: "what are you up to?"
Stranger: "Not being a geek."
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Quote of the Day

"I still can't believe you told everyone I'm a rabbit."
~ Angus

i break rules

It's four in the morning, do your parents know where YOU are?

Cause mine don't.

Well, I mean, they don't know where *I* am. I'm sure they don't know where you are either. That might be creepy.

Demas, In Love With This Present World

by Kristin Fogdall

2 Timothy 4:9-10

What you've heard is true — I've gone to Thessilonika.
I've taken a room above the agora with a view
of the harbor and wake too early to merchants' voices,
bleatings of every sort, and carpets being beaten.
The innkeeper and his wife bring bread — they are kind,
and their daughter is pretty, though she has a withered hand.

At night I watch the fishing boats come in to shore,
hung with many lanterns. The men pull up their nets
and sort the catch in shifting light; they sometimes sing
a song about the moon seducing an old sailor
and drink a bit and fall asleep wrapped in their robes.
Later someone puts the lights out one by one.

In between, the days are slow, and I think of you often.
I know what some are saying, that I loved my father
and his estate more than truth and our way of life.
It wasn't the inheritance that called me back,
and I won't return to the assembly or his house.
Demetrius is here, asleep beside me as I write.

He has thrown one of his warm legs over me
in a dream, and two pears with a jar of wine wait
on the table for when he wakes. I wish you understood
how it feels to fear the truth while also loving him.
I still believe this present world is passing away,
but now it is impossible to rejoice with you.

Sometimes when I walk outside the city gates
and look up into the mountains, toward Rome
where all of you are waiting, I want to come back —
but it doesn't last. I walk home through the colonnade,
listening to the temple priests and fortune tellers,
the eastern caravans selling cedar, pearls, and linen.

The innkeeper's daughter greets me at the door,
the weak hand cupped to her breast. She has been
praying to a small bright god in the corner
of her room, for health and peace, as she has been taught.
I will go upstairs and place my arms around the loved
and living body of one who owns no household gods,

who confesses no world but this. We will watch
the sky turn dark and wait for the fishermen to light
their lamps and disappear across the invisible sea.
I pray to the God I remember, whom I love and fail
to love, knowing words are all I have to bind
us to each other, knowing they are passing too.

Grace be with you.

free spirit? or just lazy?

I haven't worn eye makeup (pretty much the only kind of makeup I wear) in like 3 days. It's awesome - as someone with allergies that frequently express themselves through itchtastic eyes - to be able to kind of delicately rub 'em (sounds dirty, isn't dirty) a little bit without smearing eyeliner everywhere. Just have to worry about the eyeliner though - I've pretty much given up on mascara except for uber-special occasions.

Why? It's become an almost-written-in-stone rule of my life that wearing mascara on any particular day almost GUARANTEES that I will end up crying that day, and then it will run. I can hear the smart-alecks now - why don't you just wear waterproof mascara Gabrielle?

Because waterproof means fucking WATERPROOF. Not only proofed against the random tear or two, it also means at the end of the day when I wash my face, the mascara will still be there. I guess it isn't such a bad thing, I mean, unlike every other kind of makeup, which goes on your face and therefore will clog your pores if you don't take it off at some point, mascara just kind of chillaxes on your eyelashes. But. Still. It bothers me if I don't take it off. (Don't judge me!)

This has been Gabrielle's Random Rants. Thank you, come again...on that 'random' note, anyone seen Cop Out? Is it good? Just thought I'd ask...

ask me things!

http://www.formspring.me/gabriellemv