"I'm learning to fall," she said

There comes a time in every friendship when we disagree.  

I don't mean the silly squabbles about what to do once you finally decide to hang out Friday night, or whether that one movie really did deserve to win the Oscar for "Best Picture".  

No, I'm talking about a REAL disagreement.  Raised voices, maybe some tears, and a cooling period will occur before both the parties involved can talk to each other in a civil manner again. 

It's always a little frightening the first time it happens, at least for me.  I seem to have a secret hope, no matter how many times it's proven wrong, that with this person, we won't disagree.  Or if we do, we'll settle it quickly and it won't stretch out into an actual fight.  Of course, it never happens.  Or, if it doesn't, I realize that the friendship has become shallow.  Not daring to risk it on the rocks of talking about anything important, or showing enough of myself that things turn serious, my friend and I no longer connect. 

It seems that, the closer I get to someone, the more inevitable it is that we will eventually fight, and fight quite badly. There is something that touches both of us deeply enough that it is worth risking the friendship to speak of.  

I don't mean that there is a conscious decision - a realization that what happens next is going to drive all parties involved to fury.  I just mean that things happen when people get really close.  Bad things.  

Someone will say something uncalled for. The other person says something equally awful back.  And before we know it, we've just had a fight that could sever me from the other person forever.  If both of us hold a grudge, the bitterness will grow.  And that's when the choice comes.  Is this person worth enough to me to work through this fight, and become better friends because of it?  Am I going to allow simple, stupid human nature to prevent me from getting to know someone who, really, is one of the most awesome people I have ever met?

Hopefully, the answer is no.  Any good friendship has scars.  Any relationship worth holding on to isn't pretty.  

But the point of scars is not to show pain, it is to show healing.  

There was once a wound, yes.  

But it's better now.  

WE'RE better now.