The point is - well, apparently I haven't mentioned this before, but I'm bipolar. What disorder specifically I'm not sure, but it's definitely something manic-depression-esque. I'm not getting treatment right now, or on meds of any sort, but now that I'm aware I have it, I can keep a closer tab on my emotional states and try to avoid triggering behavior/habits.
The reason I'm not in treatment is because a) it's expensive, I'm on my parent's insurance, and they're not really supportive/understanding of the whole 'mental illness' thing, and b) now that I'm not in school anymore, I'm NOT technically on their insurance. Once you're past 18 and no longer a student AND still a dependent, well, no more automatic-albeit-not-free healthcare anymore, I guess. Something like that. Can't be fucked to get it right at the moment.
In any case, the particular emotional state I'm dealing with right now isn't mania, it's depression. I usually deal with one or the other around this time of year particularly, March to June. I don't mean I'm not dealing with mania at all, just that the predominating emotion is depression. Among other things, I'm having to deal with a tendency to cut as a way of self-medicating for depression, which is a unnerving because it's something I haven't felt tempted to do since I was 18, my senior year of high school. I thought I was over it. Guess not.
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